Peter Kay Questions
Courtesy of Joan
Barton, from
Manchester.
1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room
when you get
undressed?
2. If a person owns a piece of land do they
own it all the way down
to the core of the earth?
3. Why can't women put on mascara with their
mouth closed?
4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without
wiggling your ar$e?
5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when
the first thing you
do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and
I am an alcoholic'?
6. If you mated a bulldog and a ***, would it
be called a bull$hit?
7. Why are they called stairs inside but
steps outside?
8. Why is there a light in the fridge and not
in the freezer?
9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled
through mountains for
centuries' have a 'use by' date?
10. Why do toasters always have a setting
that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?
11. Is French kissing in France just called
kissing?
12. Who was the first person to look at a cow
and say, 'I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here and drink
whatever comes out'?
13. What do people in China call their good
plates?
14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can
make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
15. Why do people point to their wrist when
asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask
where the bathroom is?
16. Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto
remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
17. What do you call male ballerinas?
18. Can blind people see their dreams? Do
they dream??
19. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy
all that Acme crap,
why couldn't he just buy dinner?
20. Why is a person that handles your money
called a 'Broker'?
21. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
22. If corn oil is made from corn, and
vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
23. If a man is talking in the forest, and no
woman is there to hear
him, is he still wrong?
24. Why is it that when someone tells you
that there are over a billion
stars in the universe, you believe them, but
if they tell you there is
wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to
make sure?
25. Do illiterate people get the full effect
of Alphabet Soup?
26. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's
outside the
hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when
it's in your ar$e?
27. Did you ever notice that when you blow in
a dog's face, he gets
mad at you but when you take him on a car
ride, he sticks his
head out the window?
